Changes

Life is all about changes.

So much has happened over the past months, and I'm sorry I've not blogged, but I don't have many readers, anyway. However, I think I'm going to try to blog more often.

So that job I got? Didn't work out. It was a total scam, which is a shame, because they lie to get you in the door, and they know you're hurting for money so you're in a vulnerable position and they ultimately take advantage of that.

I have made the decision to move back to Florida. Its a stressful time right now since I'm supposed to be out of here in a couple weeks and haven't started packing, but honestly, I don't have the motivation. I have moved so much, and I'm dreading it. I spent so long trying to stay out of my home town, only to end up back there. Hopefully I get this job at the hospital that I'm going to hopefully interview for. They emailed me, but I have to call them when I move back, and I hope the positions I applied for are still open, but who knows. 

I am sooo tired all the time. Stress, maybe? I don't know. I am just so sleepy. 

On the plus side, I won't have to worry about my Dad as much since we'll be living together again. He works so hard for his age and it makes me nervous. Plus I'll be much closer to my best friend again, and I have missed her, as well as my other family. It will be a good thing, I know. 

Things don't always make sense when we want them to, but for now this is just how it has to be. Maybe one day it WILL make sense, I guess I'll have to see how it plays out.

Maybe I will be happier back home and have more energy when this is all over with. Stress does some crazy stuff to your body, I tell you. And some people handle it better than others, but I think we all go through moments in life, where we are stressed or depressed, and I guess how we handle it and overcome it, defines our character? Though, that's not all that defines us, of course. Til next time.

Halloween 2012

A little creation for your eyes.

osfgjdojofgodfign

Dear Lord,
 Please help me find a job.

Amen.

That September Day...

I was 11. I was in math class that morning. The phones were ringing off the hook and we began watching the news. It was utter and total chaos. I remember not fully understanding everything at such a young age, but I felt sad for our country.

Its still hard to believe. I remember the footage of the victims jumping out of the buildings. The looks of horror and despair on people's faces, running all over Manhattan, trying to get out before the buildings collapsed. Such heartbreak for this country. Its terrible a thing like this would happen on US soil. Such loss right here on our own land. So many parents, daughters, sons, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, husbands, wives, etc., that didn't get to come home that day. So many people.

I was blessed enough to be able to go to NYC in the Spring of 2006. We went to Ground Zero. It was a very humbling and heartbreaking experience. I'm tearing up thinking about it now. They were still cleaning up so much debris from that day. Almost five years later. I also was able to go into the chapel across the street where emergency responders took shifts sleeping in between searching for survivors. I cried. I cried for our country. For all the victims and their families. There was a whole wall of "Missing" posters put up for victims that haven't been recovered, and probably never will be recovered. There were signs hung up all over the chapel of support from countries all over the world. They cried with us that day. They remembered. So should we.

If you ever get to experience this, I urge you to partake in it. This experience will change and move you for the better. Please don't forget what happened on this day 11 years ago.

Sometimes Its The Little Things

So I'm just sitting here alone at home tonight. Like always. Its a little depressing because its my norm, but I decided to try and focus on the good things.

I have a job. It is very hard work, but I have a job.

I have a sweet dog to keep my lonesome self company. She is no Itzy Bitzy (my old dog, whom I miss so much and still cry about), but she is a good dog. With some training she will be a great one.

I have my Father, that I can call anytime during the night or day. He is always there for me. He annoys me sometimes, but I am thankful to have him in my life. He is very supportive and without him I my life would have turned out a lot differently.

I have a single brew cup Keurig that my dad leaves here. I have some yummy coffee flavors that help wake me up in the morning. I really like having my peace and quiet with my coffee and cigarette in the morning.

While I don't have a boyfriend, friends to hang out with, a lot of money, or anything to do besides work, I do have these things I have listed above. And if that's all my life ever turns out to be, I will be okay with it.

Wel...

So I've been working. A lot. Like, 12 hour days. But that's the norm for this career. I'm okay with it, I just need to adjust. The money is going to be amazing and I can't wait. I really enjoy the people I work with. My dog doesn't appreciate me being so busy, but she will be okay. Its an adjustment for us both.

I'm annoyed with one of my friends in New York. She's so caught up in this new boyfriend of hers, I rarely hear from her. When I do hear from her, its on her terms and since I'm busy now, it just can't be like that. But I hate when a friend gets involved with a guy and she's basically up his ass. Pardon my French, but you know what I'm talking about. Its just wrong to act like this one person is more important at all times. I feel like with any situation in life, a good balance is much needed.

Anyway, I've got to make some dinner at almost 11 p.m., hahaha! I'll wrong more tomorrow night since I'll be out working around 9 hours instead of 12 or longer. I think I'm going to make some yummy beef stew on Sunday. If I do, I'll post the recipe that evening.

Random

Isn't it funny how one day someone can be such an important part of your life and then they have nothing to do with you at all? Just so strange to think about.